MY: Your kids are endlessly expressing themselves. What’s the secret to fostering such free, confident little humans?
LG: I do the best I can to let my children know every day how loved they are, not because of what they do, but because of who they are. I believe if we feel loved, it’s easier to love ourselves. If we love ourselves, we feel confident and secure, which allows us to love others better as well. It’s a beautiful cycle! I’m diligent about planting seeds of kindness, and watching those seeds blossom within my children is incredible! The other day my son shouted with a huge smile on his face, “I’m loved just because I’m me!” I jumped up, hugged him, cried, and I’m pretty sure my heart melted right through the floor. One of my favorite motherhood moments for sure.
MY: You talk about combating “mom guilt” in your social media posts. Can you explain that a bit? What are some of the things you’ve caught yourself feeling guilty about and reframed to let go of?
LG: There was a long period of time where I would feel guilty for every little thing, and I remember one day saying out loud “I’m done with this!” I’d feel guilty for not taking the kids outside that day (even though it was raining and I have zero control over the weather). I’d feel guilty for not making more home-made meals or not calling someone back right away. All my down-time was dedicated to work, and I felt guilty about that. I started to lose myself because I was neglecting my own needs based on feelings of unnecessary guilt. I’m still working through it. What helps is reminding myself that my little ones are very perceptive and always watching. I don’t want my daughter to copy that kind of behavior if she ever decides to have children. I don’t want her to think that being a mother means being a martyr.
MY: If your kids say something hurtful or act out inappropriately, what methods do you use to communicate what they did was wrong? How do you course correct with young children?
LG: It’s all about finding what works best for your kid. Every child is different. What’s worked for us is focusing on regulating my own emotions to model the kind of behavior I want to see in them. It’s tough at first, but with practice it gets easier. As for course correcting, it changes at every stage. Some things that have worked for me include; getting down to their eye level, recognizing the emotion they’re feeling, putting a name to that emotion (helpful when they’re older), letting them know it’s OK to feel that way, but it’s not OK to act out that way. Sometimes a little humor helps. For example, “I don’t want those toy cars stuck in my eyeballs because then I won’t be able to see your cool dance moves, OK? Let’s not throw those anymore!” And when it’s serious, I put on my “mom voice.” Not too harsh, not too soft; it’s the “Goldilocks” of voice inflection when you need to be heard. Personally, I think of how I’d like to be treated when I’m having a meltdown moment. “I know you’re angry, and you have every right to be, but we can’t act out that way. Can I sit here and help you through this? Remember, you’re safe, I love you, and everything is going to be fine.” That being said, I’m flawed, and I make mistakes. But admitting when you’re wrong, even to your children, is extremely important.
MY: How do you find time for self-care while in the trenches of kid food and play-dough?
LG: Good question… let me know when you find the answer! Honestly, I’m a work in progress. My husband is incredibly supportive in encouraging me to find more time for self-care. We actually started holding these “team meetings” on Sunday nights where we go through our schedules for that week and write it all out on a dry-erase calendar. He’ll ask me, “OK so when should we schedule your you time?” I used to have a hard time accepting it until I realized this could be anything! It doesn’t necessarily mean getting my nails done or taking a bubble bath. It could also mean catching up with a friend. I’m either at home with the kids all day or working by myself, so I miss adult conversation. I’ll pick a day and put down “phone call with so-and-so” or “dinner at Rachel’s house” after the kids go to bed. I always feel better afterward. We schedule time for my husband’s self-care as well. I think it goes both ways.
MY: Your content is hilariously relatable. What is one funny story that happened with your kids that always makes you laugh?
LG: Oh my gosh, it’s hard to pick just one. I think my son swallowing my 100-year-old engagement ring is pretty wild. It wasn’t funny at the time, but we can laugh about it now. The X-ray technician was holding back his giggles as the ring basically glowed on the monitor. We spent two days sifting through dirty diapers praying that our son would be OK and we’d find the buried belly treasure. We celebrated big- time when it finally came to “pass.” And there was the time my daughter covered herself with a giant tub of Vaseline. It was brand new, and she completely emptied it. We thought she was sleeping in that morning, but apparently we were wrong. She was busy “slugging.” Took about four washes to get it all out of her hair. Tip: Dawn dish soap gets everything out!
